Serendipity

It is amazing that you can look back and see where two souls were at a specific time in history. Each totally oblivious that the other exists and yet their lives are destine to intertwine.

On February 24, 1991, John was busy leading his Squad through the Kuwait International Airport. The ground war had officially begun. He and his 2nd Marine Division headed toward Kuwait City where they encountered barbed wire, trenches and minefields along with constant fear of chemical warfare. The U.S. Marine Corps fought the biggest tank battle in its history here. After 100 hours of intense fighting a cease Fire was called and Operation Desert Saber was over. The details of his months in the desert, digging fox holes and doing night time patrols as well as walking the Highway of Death are his story to tell, not mine. Maybe one day he will add to my blog. He did not know it at the time but in the years to come these experiences with his fellow Marines would become nightmares. He could not know then, nor could I, that I would be the one there to gently wake him, hold him and tell him everything would be OK.

As he was moving through a hostile city and his nation held their breath, I had made my decision to join the Marines. I wish I could say that the decision was because I was a patriot that wanted to help take down a Dictator. That I was motivated by the images I saw on the TV of Operation Dessert Sabre. However, if you give me a moment, I would like to take you back to the exact point in time that altered my trajectory resulting in the moment “he walked in”.

As I mentioned before, I had tried a couple of colleges (I lost my real chance to succeed the summer after high school with an unplanned pregnancy. I will share that story another day.) and never really felt like I got my feet back underneath me. I was currently attending my 2nd semester at Marshall University. My mom had moved again and was with husband #5, ironically enough he was a former Marine. Terry looked like he was in a biker gang and had a head full of red unruly hair. He also happened to like his Cocaine, but he was funny, kind, and had some great stories of his service time. Over the years he was the only husband that I never felt uncomfortable around.

I pulled into the driveway and noticed that my Grandmother’s Cadillac was there. I should add that I can never remember a time when she did not have a Cadillac, nor when she did not live in double wide trailer. Now, I am not being judgmental at all, as my work coach would say, “facts are just facts” (thanks @mosesianstrategies). EH we will call her, was the Matriarch of my mother’s family. The grandmother that had a lot of “don’t touch” items at home and a more formal behavior when we visited was an unspoken rule. She did not visit us often so I was immediately gathering myself before I walked in. The door opened up right into the kitchen. There at the table sat my mom and EH both with very serious looks on their faces. I said “hi” of course and gave EH a stiff hug. She said she needed to speak to me about something serious and asked me to sit.

My mom started off with “why didn’t you tell me?” and got tears in her eyes. I, of course, knew what she meant but I stayed silent. EH got straight to the point: “I got a call from Gail today” (my uncle’s wife but I have changed her name for this blog). Gail had two small girls that were not my uncle’s children. “She said that Jim (EH’s only son and youngest child of 6. I have not changed his name, he died last year.) has been going to church with her. He decided to go to confession yesterday and afterwards felt compelled to confess to Gail as well. Apparently he told her that he had molested you and Molly (name changed, but a fellow cousin) for years and he wanted to be forgiven.” Gail, having two young daughters, immediately filed for divorce (good mom) and called EH to come get him.

Now, normally you think this is the part where they both wrap me in their loving arms and we all cry and they apologize for not seeing, not knowing, not protecting us right? Yea well that is not exactly what happened. EH’s face hardened and she said, “would you take a lie detector test?” I felt like she had punched me in the gut and all I could muster up was to say “excuse me?” I was the one who kept the secret for a decade. He is the one that finally told the family secret. How in the world does that equate to me lying? Did you ask HIM to take a lie detector test? She went on to point out something about statue of limitations, and other legal things I can’t remember. She also actually said that most of us “had something done to us as kids,” as if it was normal. I do remember feeling alone and helpless. I had my entire childhood stolen, lived with a very painful secret, and now the women in my life were betraying me.

As I turned around to walk to my room (no one followed or called after me), I saw Terry’s USMC plaque on the wall. I felt a surge of defiance and knew what I was going to do the next day. Instead of driving to Marshall, I drove to the recruiting station and signed up. 8 months later, he would walk in.

I knew it was going to be hard, but I would be fine.

Lisa